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08 June 2008 @ 11:08 pm
24 Chips - 13  
Theme: 22:00
Title: Scapegoat
Fandom: Bleach
Character: Hirako Shinji and Sarugaki Hiyori
Category: Romantic
Rating: PG
Warnings: Just language, really bc of Hiyori. And as always, I'm making up their past before the TBTP arc because we don't know about their childhood/academy days/etc.
Disclaimer: Bleach =/= mine, or we'd see way more Vaizard love.
Summary: Part 13 of my 24-piece series of memorable "firsts" for these two



The first time that Hiyori ever declared that she hated Shinji, it wasn’t really even him that she hated. It wasn’t his face, or his mood, or the stupid way his hair was straight – no idea where she’d gotten that one from – or even the idiotic way he kept sitting there and letting her scream at him. Not fighting back at all.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair at all, not fair that she was like this, that they were like this, and it wasn’t fair that he wouldn’t just fight back because then at least she could have derived more satisfaction from tearing him apart.

They’d barely managed to make it out, to escape with the dogs of the Special Forces hot on their tails, Aizen’s trickery and betrayal still stinging in the backs of their minds. They’d escaped with their lives but not much else. And now here they were, holed up in some grimy abandoned farmhouse in the human world. Banished. Exiled. Everything they’d once had, everything they’d once been stripped away like the old paint on the side of the house. It was as though time had just stopped for them, frozen the way the stilled hands of the broken clock on the wall remained permanently stuck at a quarter past 10.

And she couldn’t even get the satisfaction of blaming someone for it. They all knew that despite what Aizen had said, it had been through no fault of Shinji’s. No one blamed him for it, at least not really. The only one who granted any blame towards him was himself. Well, and Hiyori, at least at the moment.

Normally they would have stopped her, normally he would have stopped her, but right now they were just too tired. Too drained, stretched too thin, everything shattering around them. And so no one had the energy to protest when she leveled a kick at the wall and promptly laid into Shinji with a vengeance.

Even Shinji himself knew she didn’t really mean it, that it wasn’t him she was blaming. It was herself, just as they were all blaming themselves for this, cursing themselves for being strong enough to have survived. And despite Hiyori’s angry demands for an explanation of why he’d let her live, why he hadn’t just dispatched her the way he would have any other hollow, they all knew that it would never have been that simple. That none of them could have killed any of them unless they’d known beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was no other answer.

But Shinji’s own guilt was the reason why he refused to fight back, refused to snarl at her and remind her that she wasn’t the only one suffering here, and to stop being so damned selfish. He didn’t have the energy, and beyond that… he understood. Understood that she didn’t know what else to do, that she was feeling lost and frustrated and knew more than any of the others that scared and lost and frustrated were emotions that Sarugaki Hiyori wasn’t used to dealing with.

And so she dealt with them in the only way she knew how, by forcing them off on the nearest target. In this case, him. And he sighed and took it, the only response he gave to her loud assertion that she hated him a very tired and weary one.

“I know…”
 
 
Psyche: jubilantjubilant
 
 
 
twosentwosen on June 10th, 2008 02:58 am (UTC)
Oh, Shinji!

I like how you've written him as just... taking it all. How he's just as tired and beat-up and generally defeated as Hiyori is and he just takes it because, well, what else can he do? He's firmly stuck on the automatic 'mamoru' thing towards Hiyori that all manga males tend to -- and probably was the first time she planted a foot in his face.
Neko-taichoutasogaretaichou on June 10th, 2008 03:09 am (UTC)
Yes, I really love seeing him this way because I just see him so much as the sort who not only WOULD just take it, but understands that it's not really her hating him, it's that she doesn't know what to do and is doing the only thing she CAN do that brings some sense of normalcy to her situation.
twosentwosen on June 10th, 2008 11:21 pm (UTC)
Hiyori's kinda an emotional virgin that way, huh? She's only ever experienced one mode - the angry violent one - and her pride won't really let her give in to the 'girly' stuff.
Neko-taichoutasogaretaichou on June 11th, 2008 01:57 am (UTC)
agreed, I've always seen her as the sort who would be very uncomfortable in a situation where her normal mode of behaviour doesn't yield the desired results.
twosentwosen on June 12th, 2008 12:44 am (UTC)
Again, I can totally relate to her there...